Everything Under The Tropical Sun

It was my mother-in-law’s birthday last Monday but we celebrated it by having dinner last Saturday.

My husband looks more like Mama. They have the same nose and mouth… the shape of their faces are the same… and he got her morena skin tone. A lot of people would still mistake her for his older sister because she’s quite young to be my husband’s mother (she gave birth to him at 19 years old so that makes her 50 years old).

She loves to cook. I could only hope to become as great a cook as her. She’s not protective of her recipes either (like some monster-in-laws I know about). She taught me most of the recipes my husband likes. I can’t quite get them exactly as how she cooks it but I just console myself and say that I’ve put “my twist” in the recipe (which is obviously just an excuse).  He likes it all the same… but if we put the dishes side by side, I know he’d know the difference.

My favorite memory of her was when I first met her. She opened up to me told me that she’s so relieved to have met me and that from my name, she wasn’t sure if I was a girl or a boy. She’s been worried that since her son hasn’t had a girlfriend in over 4 years, that he might have turned gay. She said that there was nothing wrong with it if he was but it did make her feel better that I was a girl and that I was proof that her son didn’t turn gay on her. Imagine that… the first thing that she ever told me when I met her. I guess she was really grateful, huh? She made me feel so welcome right away. I didn’t feel like I had to tip toe around her. She’s awesome!

A happy and fabulous birthday to you, Mama!

It was my Mommy’s birthday last Friday. And in true Mommy fashion, we all went home with a full belly. Delicious Chinese cuisine at A Taste of Mandarin.

One thing I always dreaded was whenever anyone asked how old she was, it was pure sacrilege to tell the truth. I remember that she was 40 years old for a whole decade. Then came 42 and 45. It stopped there. So whenever her age came up, I’d simply say: “I love my Mom. I’m not at liberty to divulge any kind of classified information pertaining to her age and year of birth. I’ve signed confidentiality papers and will be held liable at the mere mention of her real age.”

It usually cracks them up but if they knew my Mom pretty well, they knew to leave the topic well alone… because it wouldn’t be far from a third world war if ever I did open my big mouth.

She’s always been a character. Someone who livens up any situation. Her tact is questionable at best but her charm lets her get away with A LOT of things. When I say A LOT… I mean A LOT. Sure, people take offense, but never the type that would get anyone deeply hurt or enormously angry at her. But when she gets angry, BOY… she could say the most hurtful things without thinking.

So, no one in their right mind would ever want to cross her. Especially about her age. She literally gets into a fit whenever someone slips up. I remember a good 3 years when I was literally FORCED to call her by her first name. She didn’t want to let her clients know that she had a daughter as old as me. It was so hard to de-program myself. After 25 years of calling her Mommy… and to think we were punished for doing that when we were younger.

Which was why it was so odd for me to actually hear her announce that she turned 60 years old. She still lied though. She wasn’t 60… she’s actually a year younger. Chinese custom forbids celebrating ages that end in 9. Like 29, 39, etc. It was unlucky they’d say (by the way, we’re not Chinese)… so they would usually skip a year forward. That’s beside the point: She actually declared her age… in public! Kudos, Mom!

Maybe it’s because we don’t live under the same roof anymore but my Mom kinda changed. She seems to be the new and improved version. She doesn’t hate too many people anymore. Actually believes in the Catholic faith (but still bashes the priests, archbishops, etc.) even more nowadays. I really hope that it’s real and she’s not going to regress anymore.

Or maybe it’s just me? Maybe the way I handle myself around her is so much more different now? I don’t really care what it is. We have a beautiful relationship now… I don’t feel so suppressed and oppressed anymore. She seems more content with her life now. I guess it’s true what they say: Life begins at 60. Keep it up, Mom! I love you and Happy Birthday!