Everything Under The Tropical Sun

The youngest and fairest of us all just celebrated his 20th birthday last Sunday. We had a small gathering at our mom’s place and that was basically it. Great food and great conversations. It’s always wonderful to catch up with everyone.

Though he’s the youngest, sometimes it seems like he’s wiser than most of us… so much so that we take his age forgranted. It doesn’t help that he stands 6-feet tall either. It’s so easy to forget that he’s still young and so very careless. Just when we let our guard down and assume that he’s a responsible adult… he goes and does something stupid. Which is what we all did when we were his age: one stupid act and thought after another.

We don’t take his youth against him. We all understand that these are the things he has to go through to wisen up. Making bad decisions is part of growing up. But compared to my “growth rate” when I was his age, I’d say, he’s growing at a much faster rate. I was a stupid, naive, stubborn, and careless 20 year old. He is smart enough to know what’s right but still lack the self-discipline to actually do it.

He’s easily the most intelligent among us. My favorite story about him was when he was 3 years old… our mom was getting nervous because he still hasn’t spoken a word. No baby talk… No mama or dada or boo boo. Nothing. She even had that thing that connects our tongue to the bottom of our mouths sliced thinking that maybe it was the culprit. Still nothing. Then one day, out of the blue he started talking. No baby talk. Not single words… but whole cohesive sentences.

Can you imagine our shock when this little silent boy opened his mouth and started conversing with us like an adult? It was amazing. I bet he was just watching all of us getting so worked up about him not being able to speak. Smirking and laughing inside, just waiting for the day he’ll reveal his great prank on all of us. Kinda like how he is with us today. He’s just lurking and waiting for us to become ultra worried about him… then one day he’ll just surprise us with a great achievement. I wouldn’t be surpised. I know greatness resides in him.

Happy Birthday, Baby Bro!

It will be the eve of our anniversary tonight. Since we’re not fighting or anything, I guess it’s safe to say that we’re 7 years old a day ahead. Hehe. This is a date we feel that is more important than our wedding anniversary. 02/20/2002 was a life altering day for the both of us and our wedding day was just something that confirmed what we knew then…

I’ve often “bashed” (his term, not mine) him on this blog saying the most ridiculous things or airing out his weird laundry for all the net to see… but the truth is, I’m truly and madly deeply in love with him. Just like a kindergarten kid bullying her crush on the schoolyard, I’ve often picked on him on and offline. That’s just the way I am I guess. I express myself excellently through writing but when it comes to physically showing it, I fail miserably. I don’t think he minds. He usually just shrugs me off when I’m in one of my bullying moods.

In spite of my bullying extravaganzas, I know he loves me. Believe it or not, I CAN be sweet (yes, I CAN!!!)… when I want to. He often tells me he doesn’t exactly know why he loves me and that he just does. It annoys me but I guess that’s just what it is right? Love is something very difficult to explain or describe… or even in some cases to justify. It just is. Hmmm… maybe I should stop bugging him about it? … NAH.

In the span of 7 years… we’ve managed to turn from a all-day-all-night party couple to the most boring couple in the world. When people would ask us what we’ve been up to, our normal response would be: “Nothing. We’re kill joys now.” I’m serious. We live it and own it because quite frankly, we enjoy just staying home… hanging out… experimenting with crazy and the not so crazy recipes. Sure, we talk to each other… but if we have nothing to say, it’s okay too.

Seven years… it sure can fly by so fast when spending it with my best friend.

I love you. Happy Anniversary!

Since we don’t have kids yet and we’re far away from getting pregnant… My husband is a constant topic and inspiration in this blog. He often complains that I bash him a lot. I don’t right? Not too much anyway? (Hehehe.) How I wish I could be writing a travel blog containing all the exotic places we’ve been to. I live in the real world. Maybe someday. Who knows? So my dear husband, I’m sorry but this is another post about you. Live with it.

My husband had the same nightmare two nights in a row. Well, it was not exactly the same but the theme was similar: CHEATING. Yep, he dreamt that I was cheating on him.

In his first nightmare, I had the “decency” to ask him for permission to date around… AND he gave me his blessing. Smart. Whatever possessed him to agree (even in his nightmare) I wouldn’t know. I guess he has this if-you-don’t-want-me-then-i-don’t-want-you thing about him. Such a proud, proud man. But still, right? Even he admits that he doesn’t understand why he actually gave me permission to date around.

In his second nightmare, he caught me in the act (though he claims he doesn’t know who the guy or that he didn’t have a face) and I denied everything. It was like a bad Shaggy video. He kept screaming and I kept on denying (wasn’t I smart even in his sleep? LOL.).

He woke up after both nightmares in a bad mood. Good thing he didn’t take it out on me. I heard of someone who had a dream that she caught her boyfriend cheating and when she woke up, she actually fought with her boyfriend. Poor guy. He didn’t know what was coming. So hence, THANK YOU knowing the difference between the nightmare and reality. I wouldn’t know what I would’ve said or done to defend myself if he did come at me.

I have always believed that dreams and nightmares are our subconscious minds’ outlet. After silencing it during the day, it runs amok during our sleep. So in my husband’s misery, lies my happiness. He doesn’t usually verbalize how much he loves me and he HARDLY writes me… wait… since the year 2004, he’s NEVER written to me. So you can imagine my glee to know that he is indeed possessive of and fears losing me to someone else.

I wouldn’t dare do that to him… EVER. I love him too much to make him go through that kind of pain and self-doubt. I know how it feels like to be cheated on. And it’s no joke. He’s always been kind and loving and generous to me. He’s never given me reason to doubt him. He may have had a gloomy disposition those two days but I was happy and grinning from ear to ear. Some wife huh? But I did assure him that I would never make him feel that way in real life. I just hope that we’d talk about things before they get to that point.

It’s been a week since we let Courage and Ashley hang out in the warehouse during weekdays (because of the bigger space and my husband wanted to keep them close) and I have to say the mysterious power of pets is something that never ceases to amaze me.

Their current schedule is that they’ll stay at the warehouse (my husband’s turning them into junkyard dogs – I cringe at the thought!) during weekdays and on the weekend, they’ll hang out with us at our very cramped house (where they seem equally as happy being with us). So we started two weekends ago. They came home with us.

Our neighbors were swooning over them asking us a million questions whether we take them to the pet spa (i’m embarassed to admit that i do) and what do we feed them… who do they follow… what’s their routine… just random questions thrown at us while I was giving them a bath. So amazed at how they love the water and that they’d just sit down while I rubbed shampoo into their coats.

When it was time to go (this was Monday morning)… I was so shocked at the “Bye, Courage! Bye, Ashley!” from the neighbors. It was like a couple VIPs were leaving and weren’t coming back for like a year.

Then they went on to staying at the warehouse. A couple of my husband’s staff stays over during the weekdays so they could watch over them. It’s funny how last weekend, we asked one of them to stay instead of going back home to their families. Just to watch over our babies because we couldn’t get them ’til the next day.

We were worried that they’d give us all these excuses that they can’t because they have to go home, etc. But my husband was so surprised that without hesitation, one of them volunteered to stay and watch Courage and Ashley. Goes to show, one of them’s attached to my babies already.

Ah, the mysterious power of pets. I think they’re aware of the power they have over me (especially Courage) because they just know the right way to look at me and know that I’ll immediately hand over whatever treat I have in my hand. The greatest power they have is that they manage to take all the stress, worries, and negative feelings I had last week and made it all vanished. With a single day, I feel recharged and ready to face the world once more with a smile on my face.

It was my Mommy’s birthday last Friday. And in true Mommy fashion, we all went home with a full belly. Delicious Chinese cuisine at A Taste of Mandarin.

One thing I always dreaded was whenever anyone asked how old she was, it was pure sacrilege to tell the truth. I remember that she was 40 years old for a whole decade. Then came 42 and 45. It stopped there. So whenever her age came up, I’d simply say: “I love my Mom. I’m not at liberty to divulge any kind of classified information pertaining to her age and year of birth. I’ve signed confidentiality papers and will be held liable at the mere mention of her real age.”

It usually cracks them up but if they knew my Mom pretty well, they knew to leave the topic well alone… because it wouldn’t be far from a third world war if ever I did open my big mouth.

She’s always been a character. Someone who livens up any situation. Her tact is questionable at best but her charm lets her get away with A LOT of things. When I say A LOT… I mean A LOT. Sure, people take offense, but never the type that would get anyone deeply hurt or enormously angry at her. But when she gets angry, BOY… she could say the most hurtful things without thinking.

So, no one in their right mind would ever want to cross her. Especially about her age. She literally gets into a fit whenever someone slips up. I remember a good 3 years when I was literally FORCED to call her by her first name. She didn’t want to let her clients know that she had a daughter as old as me. It was so hard to de-program myself. After 25 years of calling her Mommy… and to think we were punished for doing that when we were younger.

Which was why it was so odd for me to actually hear her announce that she turned 60 years old. She still lied though. She wasn’t 60… she’s actually a year younger. Chinese custom forbids celebrating ages that end in 9. Like 29, 39, etc. It was unlucky they’d say (by the way, we’re not Chinese)… so they would usually skip a year forward. That’s beside the point: She actually declared her age… in public! Kudos, Mom!

Maybe it’s because we don’t live under the same roof anymore but my Mom kinda changed. She seems to be the new and improved version. She doesn’t hate too many people anymore. Actually believes in the Catholic faith (but still bashes the priests, archbishops, etc.) even more nowadays. I really hope that it’s real and she’s not going to regress anymore.

Or maybe it’s just me? Maybe the way I handle myself around her is so much more different now? I don’t really care what it is. We have a beautiful relationship now… I don’t feel so suppressed and oppressed anymore. She seems more content with her life now. I guess it’s true what they say: Life begins at 60. Keep it up, Mom! I love you and Happy Birthday!

One of the things I love about my husband is that he makes me laugh. Usually it’s at his witty remarks… the “why didn’t I think of that?” type of humor. And there are those times that could be marked as a “classic” moment from him. This is one of them.

He told me last Saturday that he was so irritated because he kept seeing the sign: “Ped Xing” at every traffic light. Each time he passed one, he’d keep wondering what it was. When finally he couldn’t help himself and had to ask our partner what it meant.

Without letting him finish, I uttered in my miss-know-it-all tone: “Pedestrian Crossing.” and started laughing really hard. “You’ve been driving for almost half of your life and you didn’t know what that meant?!” And kept laughing some more.

He really didn’t find it as funny as I did, though. He was irritated. It was a simple sign to get and he hated that he wasn’t able to analyze it properly. One of the things he hates is the feeling that he didn’t grasp a simple joke, or a simple riddle. He’s not stupid, but he hates feeling like one.

Towards the end of that conversation, he said that he will conduct a survey… he will check how many people know what Ped Xing really meant. I knew he was only out to prove that he’s not the only one who didn’t get it. Lucky for him, when he asked my brother, he didn’t know what Ped Xing stood for either. But the difference is, my brother didn’t care whether he got it or not. Goes to show….

Well, hubby my love, here’s something I want to share. Once upon a time, during the PRE-Ped Xing knowledge… that sign plagued my very existence. I didn’t know what it meant either until I saw this:

Photo Source*

So you see, I was just lucky enough to have seen a directional signage with a picture… and I didn’t even get it right away. So, it’s okay, Love… you’re not stupid. Ha ha ha!

It was my Papa’s birthday last September 7. I know… it’s been over 2 weeks ago and it’s kinda late to be writing about his birthday now.

It’s just that there’s so much I want to say and they’re all jumbled up in my head just waiting to be phrased perfectly.

My relationship with my Papa isn’t as ideal as I would have wanted it. You see, my parents broke up when I was about 8 years old. And as old school parenting goes… we weren’t part of the decision, nor was it made clear to us that they broke up. I don’t remember openly talking about their break up to either of them ’til I was about 13 years old.

For a while, I was waiting for my Papa to come back from the States. He told me that he was just there to visit his sisters. When I finally realized that he wasn’t going to come back, I’d ask him to pick me up or get me. And when I realized that that won’t happen either, I contented myself with his regular snail mail letters.

I knew he loved me. He wrote me to assure me of his love every time in his letters. But for the life of me, I couldn’t fathom why he never wanted to get me instead of my younger brother.

Although it was such a treat for me to get letters and the occasional phone call from him, embedded somewhere in my subconscious, I felt abandoned. Eventually, when puberty has set in, at a time when my friends and my own troubled youth has engulfed me, I took him for granted… and he may have felt that I started to love him less. I think there was a time when he believed that he doesn’t matter in my life.

That cannot happen. It did not and never will.

There may have been a time when my angry teenager self thought I hated him. Then again, I was angry at all the authority figures in my life at the time. Which includes my mother and my older brother.

I’ve always known in my heart that he loves me. Though in time the snail mail weren’t exchanged as often anymore, it was his love that taught me I deserved a man who will always stand by me no matter what. Because that’s what he did. No matter how much hurt I may have caused him, he has always been there for the selfish little me whenever I needed him.

He means so much to me more than he’ll ever realize. I’m not too sure just how to express my love for him to know that he does matter… that even though I grew up far away from him, he remains close to my heart.

He will always be the example of what a man is to me: caring, gentle, faithful, and loving.

We have a long weekend coming up and my husband and I decided to fly to Manila to visit Ann and her family. It’s been a while since we last went there. November last year was the last time we were there.

This time there’s an occasion, it’s Amara’s birthday. Their youngest. For some odd reason, I ended up being the godmother for three of her kids (she has 4… a boy, a set of fraternal twins, and Amara). For a while they couldn’t remember to which twin I was the godmother to. So for years, we just considered that I was the god mother for all three. And when no. 4 (Amara) came out, they got my husband as Amara’s godfather. Just to say that they’re not playing favorites. Hahahaha!

As if there’s a difference.

Of all my boyfriends, my husband has been the only one that they both really, really liked. Though Ann has never been the type to really discourage me from going out with someone she thinks is harmful to me, it was obvious if she didn’t really approve of any of my EXs.

She’s been a great friend. Her and Neptune (who lives all the way in Florida now) are the closest women friends I have from way back. We’ve been friends since high school and have been through a lot since then. We’ve managed to stay in touch although there were times that there were HUGE gaps in terms of years when we communicated, but whenever we did manage to find each other, we’d end up talking like nothing changed.

We always told our BIG news to each other first. When they both found out they were pregnant, two of us always knew first. Neptune even told Ann and I she was pregnant before she told her husband. We’ve always considered ourselves best friends even through the distance between us.

Since it’s practically impossible for me to fly and see Neptune, being with Ann is the next best thing. She’s still an hour away by plane but at least it’s only an hour. I’ve missed her, Juno (her husband), and the kiddies so much! I can’t wait!!!

Me, Neptune, Ann (Over a decade ago.)