Everything Under The Tropical Sun

I miss my brother’s ex. Stupid brother. Stupid! Moron! Idiot! I love him with all my heart but he’s an idiot for letting such an awesome woman slip away… for even creating a situation wherein he’d risk her love in the first place. He’s usually a smart guy and appreciates what he has but… nevermind. I won’t go into the details. The whole point is I miss her.

I don’t really understand why. I don’t know what to do in this situation either. Sure, I’m not at fault and I should be able to communicate with her but I’m a casualty of war… collateral damage. She’s my friend in facebook… big whoop right? Makes me miss her all the more. Seeing her post recent photos… posting messages on common friends’ walls… it makes me sad. Thank GOD she’s not my brother’s facebook friend. If he saw her with her new boyfriend, he’d probably end up deleting his account.

My brother’s saying he’s okay… that he’s accepted the consequences of his actions. He may or may not be telling the truth but I’m sure of one thing: that if he had the chance to turn back time, he’d do things differently. I suspect that there would still be nights when he’d remember and regret the things that happened between them. I regret the things that happened. I did what I could to keep them from breaking up because I knew that the bottom line was that he loved her with everything he was… simply because he’s a changed man now. I’d think that a woman that had such profound effect on him even after they broke up would be a woman he truly and deeply loved. I mean, because he changed… he tried to better himself… another way to make amends I guess. It’s like it was his only way of saying and proving that loving her wasn’t in vain.

How I miss her. My husband misses her too. She has every right to stay away from us. Maybe we remind her too much of the past and maybe it’s painful for her to keep in touch. I understand simply because it’s painful for me too. I’m also filled with regret… wishing things were different… hurting still as I watch my brother go about his life without his heart… he’ll be fine. Maybe. But I’ll always remember her… will keep on missing her… and wishing her well in my prayers.

The youngest and fairest of us all just celebrated his 20th birthday last Sunday. We had a small gathering at our mom’s place and that was basically it. Great food and great conversations. It’s always wonderful to catch up with everyone.

Though he’s the youngest, sometimes it seems like he’s wiser than most of us… so much so that we take his age forgranted. It doesn’t help that he stands 6-feet tall either. It’s so easy to forget that he’s still young and so very careless. Just when we let our guard down and assume that he’s a responsible adult… he goes and does something stupid. Which is what we all did when we were his age: one stupid act and thought after another.

We don’t take his youth against him. We all understand that these are the things he has to go through to wisen up. Making bad decisions is part of growing up. But compared to my “growth rate” when I was his age, I’d say, he’s growing at a much faster rate. I was a stupid, naive, stubborn, and careless 20 year old. He is smart enough to know what’s right but still lack the self-discipline to actually do it.

He’s easily the most intelligent among us. My favorite story about him was when he was 3 years old… our mom was getting nervous because he still hasn’t spoken a word. No baby talk… No mama or dada or boo boo. Nothing. She even had that thing that connects our tongue to the bottom of our mouths sliced thinking that maybe it was the culprit. Still nothing. Then one day, out of the blue he started talking. No baby talk. Not single words… but whole cohesive sentences.

Can you imagine our shock when this little silent boy opened his mouth and started conversing with us like an adult? It was amazing. I bet he was just watching all of us getting so worked up about him not being able to speak. Smirking and laughing inside, just waiting for the day he’ll reveal his great prank on all of us. Kinda like how he is with us today. He’s just lurking and waiting for us to become ultra worried about him… then one day he’ll just surprise us with a great achievement. I wouldn’t be surpised. I know greatness resides in him.

Happy Birthday, Baby Bro!