Everything Under The Tropical Sun

About 8 months ago… I wrote about my disappointment when I thought I was able to convince my husband to do yoga with me. I also said that with or without him, I’d go on my own.

*sigh*

I never did.

It was when my husband started reading all these running related stuff when he found out that yoga is an encouraged parallel practice/exercise to running. I think it aids in stretching… prevents muscle fatigue, etc. (sorry, I didn’t do my research) And as soon as I heard “yoga” while sharing what he’d learned… I didn’t care what else he said. First thing I did was I went out and bought him a yoga mat… unfortunately, the only available color is fuchsia/purple combination… so he’ll be using the yoga mat he gave me and I get to use the new one.

The yoga schedule we’re looking at is 6:30 PM every Tuesday and Thursday. We were supposed to go last Thursday but my husband didn’t feel too hot so we ended up going home instead. I thought that it was the end of that. But again, I need the support and yoga partner, I asked him again if we’re going to do yoga tomorrow, he said yes! I’m still keeping my hopes at bay because so many things can happen between now and tomorrow evening. 24 hours.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me! Include your toes… your eyes… hahahaha!

Paolo Coelho here speaks of guardian angels and how much he believes in them. He’s asked that we write in the forum about our own experience with guardian angels. I’d like to post my very recent experience here instead. As you have seen, I was confined in the hospital for dengue fever… but what I haven’t told you is how I found out that I had dengue.

Thursday evening (June 18) -  I got very very high fever and was getting chills all throughout the night. To the point that my husband wasn’t able to sleep a wink because he was watching over me. At 6:30am Friday morning, we went to the hospital where I got a series of tests. I was dismissed with a bacterial infection, was given a prescription for antibiotics and paracetamol and was sent home.

Monday morning (June 22) – My fever was gone. But I still had difficulty keeping my food down. The only thing I could do was keep in drinking water just so I wouldn’t feel so hungry. My stomach was growling like crazy and REALLY wanted to eat something.

Tuesday morning (June 23) – I told my husband to take me to the hospital because I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to eat already. I don’t care anymore. I’ll have myself admitted to the hospital if I have to just so I can eat. That’s when they found out that my platelet count was already 14,000. Normal is at least 50,000. They ordered a platelet transfusion right away.

If I waited any longer…
Thank God for my guardian angel. He/She was truly watching over me.

Where have I gone? Playing catch up with all the things I left. I have to say: I love my job. I really do. Sometimes it CAN suck (especially when I’m dealing with small-minded, negative people) but on an average, I love it. It took me another three weeks to finally get into gear once more. I don’t like getting sick at all.

So now, I’m back and I can juggle my blog back into my life once more. Thank you to those of you who kept coming back. Those hits keep me keepin’ on… when I thought that maybe I should give up. Thank you. My heart and soul thanks you.

So hello blog world! I am baaack! So many things has happened… but my upcoming photos will still be from my last vacation. I’ll be posting new ones pretty soon… I’ve decided that I’ll be pouring my heart into learning pp. Sure, I know quite a number of things… but it’s not enough to excel. I have to study, study, study. How I’ll incorporate it into my already full schedule, I don’t know. I just know that I have to.

I’ll be writing about the many, many things that has happened during my “hibernation” real soon. I might have a hard time posting as regularly as I have in the past as I slowly build the routine once again but all I can say is that I missed blogging. I don’t know what magic blogging has but whatever it is, I’m in its spell.

If you’ve been following my blog for some time now, you’d know that I’ve recently quit smoking with my husband. We WERE smokers (feels good to say it). The only time I wrote about it was when I was a week into it and that I was suffering.

Diane Varner (one of my all time favorite photographers… please visit her at www.dianevarner.com — the site may be under construction now so check back often because her photographs are worth it!) even commented and offered very encouraging words along with Barefoot nurse (you can find the link under my blogroll on the left sidebar).

I guess people feel moved by the sheer determination it takes to quit smoking. Breaking a bad habit usually does require amazing feats of self discipline. So…

I’m patting myself on the back. I’m telling myself I’m proud of myself. I’m the queen of self discipline! I’m the greatest for having survived one whole month without smoking. HAPPY 1ST MONTHSARY TO ME!!! (and one month and one week to my husband.)

It’s still difficult but not as difficult as it was during the first week. I was one cranky woman and remembering those first few days is helping me refrain from smoking . I guess the only “bad” thing that came out of quitting was that I had to eat something every so often. I haven’t stepped on a scale but I know that I gained weight. I told myself what the heck… I guess I know what my next goal is going to be, right? Hahaha! Another thing which would demand for my will of steel… or rather another thing to test it. Exercise. Just the mere mention of the word makes me want to crawl into our bed and stay there for the rest of the week.

I’ve been reading up on the benefits of quitting and most of it are “invisible” benefits. What I do know and have noticed is that my skin looks so much better now… my lips are starting to go pink again… my gums too. I can walk up two flights of stairs and walk about 10 meters without wheezing like there wasn’t any air left in the world… and it doesn’t cease to amaze me. I don’t smell like cigarettes anymore and I don’t get that “gotta-get-a-fix” look. I’m no longer a slave to nicotine though the temptation’s still there.

The bottom line is I can feel and testify that I’m a much happier person now that I’ve quit smoking compared to when I was smoking. I thought I’d be miserable for having quit but it’s a very liberating experience. Now I feel that I can do anything and everything I set my mind to. Nothing’s holding me back… not even myself.

The world – meaning MY world – is right again… I picked him up last Saturday at the airport and I have my husband back! Three cheers for ME! Hip Hip……… Hip Hip……… Hip Hip…. HURRAY!!!

What changed? How come my world is right up side now that he’s back? Here’s a few:

1. I can fall asleep easily (it’s difficult to fall asleep when he’s not around).
2. I wake up earlier (semi-depression causes me too oversleep – slightly extreme, I know).
3. I eat better (because I cook for him instead of cooking – or the lack thereof – for myself).
4. I’m relaxed.
5. I’m inspired.
6. I’m loved.

I spent the first 23 years of my life searching. I’ve always had a feeling that I was missing something. That feeling turned into desire and the desire turned into desperation until it turned into an obsession. I was obsessed in finding my other half. The search has led me to make one bad choice after another, creating multiple heart aches and pain along the way of my own doing. It wasn’t until I resigned to letting the obsession go that I discovered my other half was actually me.

I was my own missing “something”.

He came. He found me. He saw someone whole but broken.

I was whole. I no longer felt like I was missing something but I was broken. I needed mending and he did that with me. He helped me mend the broken pieces of my soul simply by loving me. He showed me how to love myself. He accepted everything. All of me.

I’m not considerate.
I’m VERY impatient.
I’m not very nice at times.
I can be judgmental.
I can be mean and selfish.

He still loves me inspite of my ugly side. I used to hate myself because of it. He even suffered for a time. I don’t know exactly when things changed. I just know that I’ve slowly started to accept myself for all that I am as he did. Now, I’m whole and not broken. Without him and his love my life would’ve been a drama-filled pit of self-pity and hate. This, I realized while he was away.

But now he’s here and nothing else matters. My world is right again.

So the summer’s not over yet but it is for me. I’m back to my good ‘ol routine: Work and Home. Not much excitement will be coming my way ’til maybe the end of the year and it was good while it lasted. I had such a blast and we got our much needed break. I’m still a little hung over from the vacation but I’m good to go for another barrage of work ’til the end of the year.

To be honest, I’m having a hard time adjusting. I’ve been working hard before our vacation and seeing Neptune again brought back really good memories of my once carefree days. Which by the way led me to make a promise that I’ll have to put my future kid/s to work so that they won’t have a hard time adjusting to real life. Everything just came too easily for me back in the day.

Things will get easier and I’ll be able to fall back into my old routine soon and my splendid 2009 summer vacation will eventually become a distant reality. I don’t want to let go yet so I’ll be sharing (and re-living) that fateful vacation with you in the entries to come. I have enough ammo to last me through May. Right before the rainy season starts. Here I am. Back to my regular programming but still quite hung over from the vacation I’ve had. *sigh*

Well, I didn’t come home today… we actually arrived last Sunday. Reality has sunk in hard yesterday. Though I did get to rest, it’s just sad that I have to go back to the daily grinds of my life. I know I said I loved my job and stuff… I just love the beach more. *sigh* … Better than nothing right? To top it all off, it’s my birthday today.

It’s not that I don’t like growing old… it’s the celebrating that gets to me. Why do I have to celebrate my birthday anyway? Are they really happy that I’m turning a year older? Having fun on my birthday for me begins at 10am, ordering room service (or having my own well-equipped kitchen and a world-class chef at my beck and call), and a personal masseuse. That’s it. Is it too much to ask?

In reality, I’m going to spend my birthday by going to meetings before and after lunch. A lunch blowout at the office, some (or maybe several) demanding calls in between and dinner with my family. After which, I’d be too tired and end up going home at around 10 PM (if I’m lucky, maybe earlier). I’d end up feeling like the day went by as if it were any other ordinary day.

But looking back a good ten years ago… Things were so different. I’d wake up really late. Skip work just because it was my birthday and nursing a hangover because friends decided to get me really drunk on the eve of my birthday. The type that I’d be crawling towards bed with my clothes on. I was surrounded by fake friends living a fake happy life. Everything that mattered to me then doesn’t matter to me now… and wasn’t important… ISN’T important.

I’m now surrounded by people I love and who genuinely care for me. I don’t have to go on a drinking spree just to feel like I mattered… I don’t have to drown my insecurities with alcohol. My life, this moment is easily the happiest I’ve ever been. Life is beautiful.

How I spend my birthday today may not be the way I would have wanted but it is the beginning of the way I want to spend the rest of my life.

One of my favorite days of the year is when I scratch my head and try to recall where I stored my bathing suits… just because I’m looking for them means that they’re going to be put to use. I absolutely love summer! Well, the scorching heat could be excruciating at times but I love that I live in a tropical country. I love the weather! (We thought about maybe moving to Denmark – coz we saw on TV that it’s the “happiest” country on earth – but just thinking about the winter season makes me want to run out and stay in the sun forever.)

So summer season is finally here… the beaches surrounding Cebu awaits us. It’s been a while since I’ve gone to the beach and just lounged about. The last time was February 2007 when the family went to Boracay. Ugh! I’ll NEVER EVER go back there again. It’s over rated. It’s Manila moved to the beachfront. My idea of a beach getaway is somewhere where it isn’t so crowded, pristine white sand (in defense of Boracay, it still has a gorgeous beach) and there’s nothing there to remind me of the city. Hence, Bantayan.

Bantayan is an island off of the Northern tip of Cebu. It’s a favorite destination among the Cebuanos because it’s beautiful and CHEAP (we’re not cheapskates, mind you. We just want to stretch our buck as far as it can… It’s like a sport to us)… Bantayan is the perfect place. It doesn’t have high end accommodations (although there is one that’s come close… but is also expensive: Hoyhoy Villas) but it’s such a charming little island. Virgin… beautiful… and near. What we’d end up paying for airfare for Boracay would probably be what we’d pay for our whole trip in Bantayan.

Contact lenses? Check. Bathing suit? Check. Sarong? Sunglasses? Sunscreen? Check, check and check. A weekend of sun, sand, relaxation and maybe a little romance? CHECK!!!

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’ve asked Santa for a mac last Christmas. At first, I wanted the macbook aluminum then the white macbook and when Christmas came and went… any macbook would’ve done. I even wrote that item on my wishlist this year.

It’s funny how wishlists work. My husband swears by it. He has this special folder in his laptop wherein he’d place pictures of all the things he’s wishing for. He’d often forget that some things were still even in there even when he wasn’t wishing for it anymore. The latest granted wish item was the D40 (Actually, he listed a D40x down… close enough).

So there, I took his lead and wrote three things down in my 2009 Diary… not knowing how I’d ever afford those three items. Now, there’s a VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD deal for a 17″ Macbook Pro (the model before the latest ones) and I just might be able to get a hold of one. They ran out of stocks quickly but I’m hoping that there’s going to be another batch coming in next week. They said they will but you’ll never know right? I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I am a POSER. I’ll say that now so that everything’s clear and you won’t hold me liable for any misguided information you may or may not pick up from this blog post. I’m simply telling a story about one part of my life: photography. Don’t worry, I won’t take offense if you do call me a POSER… I believe the great ones had to start out as one before they became… well, great.

So here I am, finally comfortable with the tweaking of my camera (which by the way… I LOOOVE so much! I can’t say that enough) and I know there’s still so much to play around with but I’ve finally made up my mind to buy some inexpensive stuff to experiment with. Not to mention, Teach CONNED me into buying some other equipment. I’ll tell you all about that later.

So the next images I’ll be posting would either be lit by using a softbox or the equipment I was conned into getting. If the photo is of still images, most likely that was taken with a softbox. If it’s of my husband (my model via emotional blackmail), then it was taken with the tainted equipment from Teach.

You’ll see below two images of my lighting experiment. One is with the regular white cloth and the other with a white acrylic bottom… but both were placed over our bed (for my own comfort). I bought a regular desktop lamp for the overhead lighting and used my husband’s flash as a slave.

I hope you learn something, but again, I’m a POSER… so don’t hold me liable for any misinformation in this entry.