I’m in HELL…
I’m in a hell of my own creation. Why oh why did I ever pick up a cigarette? Yes folks, I USED to smoke and started to quit last Saturday. Today is officially my 7th day since the last time I took a drag. It’s sooooo hard!!! But I’m so proud of myself.
This is what I get for smoking in the first place. I’ve been smoking since college and I haven’t stopped since. Now, my hubby decided to quit for health reasons, I followed suit. What kind of a wife would I be if I didn’t go through the thick and thin part with him? And besides, I’ve been procrastinating. I once made a list (waaaay back in 2006) that I’d have to quit smoking by the time I was 30. I’m 31. ‘Nuff said.
I’m not my usual “relaxed” self (how ironic. cigarettes are stimulants.) and I’m easily jarred by my daily routines. Sure, sure… what’s keeping me going is my love for him. How I don’t want to be a “bad influence” on him and be a source of his misery. Also, I read that just within 20 minutes of quitting, there are health benefits already. No one mentioned how hard it was going to be though. Mostly vague references on how I should have Will of Steel (sounds like a title for a novel) before I embark on this arduous journey.
See? I’m even ranting. I can’t even create a coherent post entry and I’m not speaking at all in a positive light. I hate it. I’m not myself. I smell cigarette smoke and it’s still so tempting. I try to keep my hands busy but whenever I find myself sitting on the toilet, doing my business and after a hearty meal… I miss taking a drag. My husband asked me if it seemed like I lost a friend… I told him it seemed like I lost a husband. Hahahaha! More than a friend. It’s like I suddenly divorced my husband of 16 years.
Imagine that…. 16 years. Goodbye bad habit. If this is what it takes to get rid of you. I’m never going to see you again. This is hell. Once I’m over this (hopefully in about 6 months’ time) hell of a ride, I’ll never forget and therefore will never go back to you again.
May 15th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Good for you! I’ve heard it is HELL and the hardest to beat. Wishing you continued determination and success.
May 15th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
OH MY!!! Hello, Diane…. you just made my day! I’m a HUGE fan of your photographs. I visit your site on a regular basis and you never cease to amaze me. Please keep doing what you’re doing. You are truly an inspired artist. Thank you for sharing your art with me.. I mean US.
My heartfelt thanks for your kind words of encouragement. You really just made my day… (HUH? Smoking? I did? Hell? What hell? Huh?) Hahahaha! Thank you so much for stopping by!
May 16th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Congrats – it is the bext thing you can do for yourself and even if it is hard and you seem to have put yourself in some sort of purgatory, remember it is temporary and the benfits will long outlast what you are feeling now! You can do it…chew gum
May 19th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Hi Barefootnurse,
Thanks!
I believe I am doing the right thing. It’s a rough ride and I just pray I have prepared myself mentally for it. Enough to resist long enough to break the habit. Thank you for believing in me.
May 28th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Well Whattadya know, yet another best ways to Quit Smoking related site to add to my reader! Google blog search has you pretty well indexed it seems! you have some and informative stuff here! are you on twitter?
May 30th, 2009 at 3:54 am
yup! you can follow me in twitter…. just search for jopiecab. “Follow me on Twitter” button coming soon…
September 1st, 2009 at 11:27 am
[...] you remember, a few months ago, I quit smoking. It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure… and I’m happy to report that I’m [...]