Everything Under The Tropical Sun

The world – meaning MY world – is right again… I picked him up last Saturday at the airport and I have my husband back! Three cheers for ME! Hip Hip……… Hip Hip……… Hip Hip…. HURRAY!!!

What changed? How come my world is right up side now that he’s back? Here’s a few:

1. I can fall asleep easily (it’s difficult to fall asleep when he’s not around).
2. I wake up earlier (semi-depression causes me too oversleep – slightly extreme, I know).
3. I eat better (because I cook for him instead of cooking – or the lack thereof – for myself).
4. I’m relaxed.
5. I’m inspired.
6. I’m loved.

I spent the first 23 years of my life searching. I’ve always had a feeling that I was missing something. That feeling turned into desire and the desire turned into desperation until it turned into an obsession. I was obsessed in finding my other half. The search has led me to make one bad choice after another, creating multiple heart aches and pain along the way of my own doing. It wasn’t until I resigned to letting the obsession go that I discovered my other half was actually me.

I was my own missing “something”.

He came. He found me. He saw someone whole but broken.

I was whole. I no longer felt like I was missing something but I was broken. I needed mending and he did that with me. He helped me mend the broken pieces of my soul simply by loving me. He showed me how to love myself. He accepted everything. All of me.

I’m not considerate.
I’m VERY impatient.
I’m not very nice at times.
I can be judgmental.
I can be mean and selfish.

He still loves me inspite of my ugly side. I used to hate myself because of it. He even suffered for a time. I don’t know exactly when things changed. I just know that I’ve slowly started to accept myself for all that I am as he did. Now, I’m whole and not broken. Without him and his love my life would’ve been a drama-filled pit of self-pity and hate. This, I realized while he was away.

But now he’s here and nothing else matters. My world is right again.

You left this morning anad I’m missing you already. I know it’s for work and you have to do it but it doesn’t stop me from missing you.

I miss coming home and sharing my day with you.
I miss kissing you “Hi!” after a long day’s work.
I miss watching American Idol with you and sounding off opinions about the contestants with each other.
I miss whining that I don’t like our dinner to you.
I miss your wit.
I miss laughing with you.
I miss you making me laugh.
I miss your face.
I miss your tattoo.
I miss you so much.

I can’t wait for Saturday. I’m going to get off work early to pick you up. I’ll spend three excruciating nights without you but I know I’ll see you again. I love you.

So the summer’s not over yet but it is for me. I’m back to my good ‘ol routine: Work and Home. Not much excitement will be coming my way ’til maybe the end of the year and it was good while it lasted. I had such a blast and we got our much needed break. I’m still a little hung over from the vacation but I’m good to go for another barrage of work ’til the end of the year.

To be honest, I’m having a hard time adjusting. I’ve been working hard before our vacation and seeing Neptune again brought back really good memories of my once carefree days. Which by the way led me to make a promise that I’ll have to put my future kid/s to work so that they won’t have a hard time adjusting to real life. Everything just came too easily for me back in the day.

Things will get easier and I’ll be able to fall back into my old routine soon and my splendid 2009 summer vacation will eventually become a distant reality. I don’t want to let go yet so I’ll be sharing (and re-living) that fateful vacation with you in the entries to come. I have enough ammo to last me through May. Right before the rainy season starts. Here I am. Back to my regular programming but still quite hung over from the vacation I’ve had. *sigh*

Well, I didn’t come home today… we actually arrived last Sunday. Reality has sunk in hard yesterday. Though I did get to rest, it’s just sad that I have to go back to the daily grinds of my life. I know I said I loved my job and stuff… I just love the beach more. *sigh* … Better than nothing right? To top it all off, it’s my birthday today.

It’s not that I don’t like growing old… it’s the celebrating that gets to me. Why do I have to celebrate my birthday anyway? Are they really happy that I’m turning a year older? Having fun on my birthday for me begins at 10am, ordering room service (or having my own well-equipped kitchen and a world-class chef at my beck and call), and a personal masseuse. That’s it. Is it too much to ask?

In reality, I’m going to spend my birthday by going to meetings before and after lunch. A lunch blowout at the office, some (or maybe several) demanding calls in between and dinner with my family. After which, I’d be too tired and end up going home at around 10 PM (if I’m lucky, maybe earlier). I’d end up feeling like the day went by as if it were any other ordinary day.

But looking back a good ten years ago… Things were so different. I’d wake up really late. Skip work just because it was my birthday and nursing a hangover because friends decided to get me really drunk on the eve of my birthday. The type that I’d be crawling towards bed with my clothes on. I was surrounded by fake friends living a fake happy life. Everything that mattered to me then doesn’t matter to me now… and wasn’t important… ISN’T important.

I’m now surrounded by people I love and who genuinely care for me. I don’t have to go on a drinking spree just to feel like I mattered… I don’t have to drown my insecurities with alcohol. My life, this moment is easily the happiest I’ve ever been. Life is beautiful.

How I spend my birthday today may not be the way I would have wanted but it is the beginning of the way I want to spend the rest of my life.

So busy! But happy busy.

Neptune’s here and we’ve been having a blast catching up. She hasn’t changed one bit. Same “oplok” girl I knew in high school. Now, I’m on my way out the door to pick her up. We’ll be spending the night at my mom’s house because we’re leaving for Bohol tomorrow!!! Bright and early. The boat leaves at 8:45 AM.

Bohol is a separate island from Cebu… another city and a 2-hour boat ride away… but equally as beautiful. I’d say they have better beaches than the ones found in Mactan. Cebu’s mainly made of rock and Bohol has beautiful white sand beaches. I’ll shall say it again: I LOVE LIVING IN A TROPICAL COUNTRY! I LOVE CEBU! I LOVE THE VISAYAS! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

Hopefully, I’ll have internet connection so I can post. But I doubt I’ll have the time. We’ll be spending our days just lounging about… catching up on some reading and generally having a great time. I won’t be surprised if I’ll put this blog on the back burner for a while. So for now, I bid adieu my precious blog. I’ll be going on a bloggie break for the next four days. I’ll miss you… I really will.

Have a fun and great Holy Week everyone and an advance Happy Easter!