Out in the Open
I’ve always been particularly shy about this blog of mine. A lot of me goes into this and I’m not entirely sure if this is a good idea… but my life’s changed since the onset of this thing so it must be doing something very profound in my life at the moment (which by the way may be more a coincidence – but I don’t believe in them).
What started out as somewhat like a rant site for me… turned out to be just what it should be: a web log. My first few entries felt like I was writing for someone else. Reading a few of them again gives off a feeling that I was forced. I’m still trying to find my “voice” in all of this but slowly, I’m learning to love writing again. I’m not too confident with my grammar or the proper use of verbs, adjectives… that whole hullabaloo… who cares? (Stay away grammar police!)
Despite all these good things happening, I’ve still managed to shut up about this to my close friends (thanks for pointing that out, Teach!) and a flood of excuses came rushing forth when Teach confronted me about it. Made me think… it’s public (as opposed to my previous private blogs) and I did that intentionally. I am SUCH a paradox.
Anyway, after brooding over that for about a week, my husband and I bumped into a couple of friends in a bookstore: Joey and Margette. When asked what I was up to, some magic being (who amazingly turned out to be me) blurted that I have a blog… AND declared my URL.
Joey happens to be the facilitator of one of the seminars I took called Starshooters. It’s a seminar about going for your goals by breaking self-limiting habits and replacing them with ones that will help you achieve those goals. It seemed like sacrilege to hide what I’ve been really up to from him since my goal at the time is exactly what this blog embodies. I’ve learned so much from Starshooters that my husband and I still use the tools and techniques we learned from it… and that was 5 years ago! (Go check out his website: Powerspeak. I also placed a link in the sidebar)
I really couldn’t help but feel vulnerable at that time but a part me was also so proud of myself. It wasn’t until last Thursday when we met up with my husband’s cousin and his friend and his girlfriend that I was brave enough to mention this blog but not enough to actually mention the URL.
Two steps forward… one step back… *sigh*
– Note to self: You are courageous! You can’t win them all… and it’s okay. –
So here I am. Still so very happy I have this and the changes in my life may be a coincidence but I’ve always believed that once we find our true purpose, the world conspires and helps us out. I may not be SUPER courageous with marketing this to people who actually know me (my husband doesn’t count… for better or for worse we’re stuck together) but I’m getting there… I have no plans in turning back.
